i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
