omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
