Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize