just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
