A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
