I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
