Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
