Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
So much rum. So many feels.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Your penis caused this!
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