if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Randomize
