We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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