My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Randomize
