Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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