she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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