Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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