I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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