And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
