the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
where are my eyebrows?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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