theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
