just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
