ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she looked like the before picture.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
