Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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