I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Do vagina's smell?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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