Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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