Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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