i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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