That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize