I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
whose parrot is this?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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