Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
