Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
