I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
