okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
