It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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