It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
