Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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