you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
