GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
