I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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