I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
