Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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