Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
