It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
