I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
