I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
two words...techno handjob
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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