i was born a porn star she said
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
