Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
