We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
