I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
