Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
