hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
