that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
