So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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