Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She's the barista slut.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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