you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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