I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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