you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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