WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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