I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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