That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
