Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
