Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
