Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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