Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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