he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize