did you get engaged???
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
