What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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