how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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